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Mark Twain

Mark Twain 1835-1910
American Writer, Humorist, Entrepreneur and Lecturer
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything
There are lies, damned lies, and statistics
It is better to keep your mouth shut and be called a fool than to open it and remove all doubt
The secret of getting ahead is getting started
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable
There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress
Laws control the lesser man…Right conduct controls the greater one
When in doubt, tell the truth
Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect
Don't let schooling interfere with your education
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first
The lack of money is the root of all evil
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why
Truth is stranger than fiction, because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please
Buy land, they're not making it anymore
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt
All generalizations are false, including this one
Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel
We have the best government that money can buy
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them